Vegan Jokes

by Laura on January 24, 2013

Hope you like the jokes! Be careful if you are easily offended as I’ve put 2 rude ones at the bottom of the post.

If you have a good veggie or vegan joke that isn’t down then comment below and I’ll add it!funny

Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhoea?

A: A salad shooter. :D


Q: What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?

A: Leave it in the cow!


Q: Why did the vegan cross the road?

A: Because she was protesting for the chicken, man!


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because it was being chased by Coronal Sanders


Q. How many omnis does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None, they prefer to remain in the dark! ;)


Q. What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?

A. Someone who lost their veg-inity! :D


Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?

A: To prove he wasn’t chicken!


Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?

A. We have to stop meating like this :D


Funny But You May Find Offensive



Q: What do Tofu And Dildos Have In Common?

A: They’re Both Meat Substitutes!


Q: Why do vegans give good head?

A: Because they are used to eating nuts.

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous October 13, 2013 at 2:46 am

Magnificent site. A lot of helpful info here. I am sending
it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks
in your sweat!


Nixi August 6, 2013 at 6:47 pm

More naughty jokes!! ;-P


Tessa February 9, 2013 at 1:11 pm

Vegan joke

If your vegan and you have a dream where you eat a hambuger is it a nightmare?


Luis January 28, 2013 at 8:30 am

What is the difference between an hyena and a meat eater?
The laughter, unless the meat eater is drunk.


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:21 am

Great! lol

Thank you x


Balam Kenter January 27, 2013 at 2:48 pm

Hey Laura, your posts always put a smile on my face when I see them in my inbox :) May I steal one of the jokes for a vegan zine we’re working on?
lots of love, balam


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:31 am

Hi Balam

Thats so nice to hear!

Of course you can steal a joke! Go for it!

Have a great day!

Laura x


Chris January 27, 2013 at 1:32 pm

Hahahaha……Last ones are the best!


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:32 am

;) x


hadar January 25, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Hi Laura,
loved it thnx :)


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:35 am

Hi Hadar

You are very welcome!

Laura x


Marie Coria January 25, 2013 at 9:05 pm

I love the “naughty” ones that best :)


McKenna Grace Fisher January 25, 2013 at 8:44 pm

Laura these are too funny..thank you for sharing… Namaste’ I shall copy and save these for future fun!!


Jo January 25, 2013 at 7:02 pm

Loved the “rude” ones! Haha!!


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:36 am

Hi Jo

Me too!

Laura x


Megaera January 25, 2013 at 5:59 pm

At work, trying not to laugh (especially over the last two) & I started choking!


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:38 am

Hi Megaera

Happy to brighten your day!

Laura x


Annette January 25, 2013 at 3:31 pm

Hi Laura,
Happy New Year! I liked the chicken jokes. I have a pet chicken named Buddy. He’s about 13 years old now. Thanks for the chuckle or should I say chickle!


David Caseby January 25, 2013 at 2:56 pm

very funny especially the last two… ;-)
David x


Laura January 28, 2013 at 9:40 am

Hi David

Glad you liked them!

I thought those 2 were the funniest too!

Laura x


Marnie Slade January 25, 2013 at 1:33 pm

Very funny, especially as lots of friends are meat eaters and often crack jokes about veggies and vegans… I now have ammo! Thank you,


Manie January 25, 2013 at 1:03 pm

Nice thanks


Carole January 25, 2013 at 1:01 pm

Thank you so much Laura. I liked them. Have a sweet day and take good care of you.


Laura January 25, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Hi Carole

Thank you and you too!

Laura x


sylvia January 25, 2013 at 12:16 pm



Laura January 25, 2013 at 1:26 pm

:D x


Melody January 28, 2013 at 9:46 pm

those were funny :)


Laura February 1, 2013 at 5:19 pm

Hi Melody

Glad you liked them.

Laura x


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